We all have parts of ourselves we’d rather not acknowledge—the moments of jealousy we try to rationalise, the snap judgments we brush off, the emotional reactions that feel outsized or strangely familiar.

These responses often point to something deeper: patterns formed over time, shaped by experience, and quietly running in the background.

This is where shadow work comes in.

Rooted in Jungian psychology, shadow work is the practice of gently bringing the unseen parts of ourselves into conscious awareness.

It’s not about chasing perfection or rewriting your personality—it’s about noticing, with honesty and compassion, what’s been tucked away.

And in doing so, creating space for more grounded choices, deeper relationships, and a version of self-awareness that’s actually useful.

It’s not necessarily easy, but it’s REALLY powerful. And for many, it marks the beginning of a more honest, more emotionally fluent way of being.

So… What Is Shadow Work, Exactly?

The “shadow” is a psychological term coined by Carl Jung, used to describe the aspects of ourselves we reject, repress, or simply prefer not to acknowledge.

These parts might be tied to anger, envy, control, shame, guilt—or even softer things like neediness, sensitivity or emotional vulnerability. It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes, it’s as simple as pretending you’re fine when you’re actually not.

Shadow work is about gently unearthing those parts. Not to fix them. Not to shame them. But to understand where they came from—and to stop letting them steer the wheel from the backseat.

Why Shadow Work Is Having a Moment

There’s been a collective shift lately. People are tired of self-sabotage, of shallow self-help, of pretending we’re always OK. Emotional nuance is in. Therapy speak is everywhere. And apps like TikTok are filled with 20-somethings casually unpacking their deepest triggers in voiceovers with Lo-Fi beats.

But this work goes beyond the scroll.

Shadow work speaks to a deeper desire for self-intimacy. Not just the curated self, but the raw, messy, unfiltered version. The one who sometimes gets jealous. The one that spirals. The one that avoids. And the truth is, when you stop running from that version, things begin to shift—subtly, but powerfully.

The Psychology of the Shadow (Without the Textbook Vibes)

In Jung’s theory, we all have a “persona”—the face we show the world—and a shadow, made up of everything we don’t.

If you’re more of a visual thinker, this diagram helps map out Jung’s model of the psyche—where the shadow fits, and how it interacts with our ego, persona, and the deeper self.

But pushing something out of view doesn’t mean it disappears. It festers. It leaks. It shows up in projection (blaming others for what we fear in ourselves), in judgment, in patterns that seem to repeat no matter how much we “know better.”

Integration is the aim—not to become perfect, but whole. When you bring your shadow into the light, it loses its power to sabotage from the sidelines. You’re no longer ruled by reactions you don’t understand.

What Shadow Work Actually Looks Like

It’s not all dramatic breakthroughs and candlelit journaling (though sometimes it is). More often, it’s noticing your reactions—and sitting with them instead of pushing them away.

Maybe you get irrationally irritated when your friend brags about her career. Maybe you feel panicked when someone needs too much from you.

Instead of judging that response, shadow work asks: What is this reminding me of? What part of me doesn’t feel safe here?

A few good reflection questions:

• What emotions or traits do I find “unacceptable” in myself?
• When do I feel most defensive—and why?
• What parts of myself do I hide from others?

A Beginner’s Guide To Shadow Work

This is slow work. Quiet work. Sometimes confronting, often enlightening. And the best way to begin? Just begin.

Here’s a mini toolkit to get you started:

Shadow Work Prompts

1. What am I afraid people would think of me if they really knew me?
2. What traits do I judge most harshly in others?
3. When was the last time I felt triggered—and what did that feeling remind me of?
4. What am I pretending doesn’t bother me (but definitely does)?
5. What’s one part of myself I’ve been avoiding?

Tips for the Journey

• Choose a time when you feel emotionally regulated (not mid-crisis).
• Don’t rush. This isn’t productivity—it’s emotional exploration.
• Speak kindly to yourself throughout.
• Work with a therapist if you’re able—it can bring safety and insight.

This isn’t about making your shadow disappear. It’s about recognising it, owning it, and softening around it.

What Starts to Shift When You Do This Work

You stop over-explaining. You notice the trigger before it takes over. You start choosing—not reacting. The noise gets quieter, and your sense of self grows clearer.

Relationships deepen, not because everyone else changes, but because you stop contorting to avoid discomfort. And slowly, life becomes less about managing perceptions and more about aligning with what’s actually true for you.

Wrapping It Up

You don’t have to be in the middle of a breakdown to start shadow work. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You don’t even have to do it all at once.

But if something inside you feels tired of hiding, of pleasing, of spiralling—this might be a gentle place to start. A way of coming home to all the parts of you you’ve quietly outgrown or pushed away.

You don’t need to love every piece of yourself to be whole. But getting curious about the pieces you usually ignore? That’s where the magic begins.